― Frank Herbert
Thoughts of my mortality have been a constant weight on my mind for perhaps longer than you would imagine. I can remember the first time I had these morbid thoughts. In grade school learning of Hitler and the fate of disabled children in Germany put a realization of the frailties of life. or people like me that I would never forget.
As I grew up and required the care of doctors more than most children also put doubts of my longevity. And I grew up I rarely encountered any elderly people with Cerebral Palsy, if any.
I knew my respiratory system was weak causing bouts of pneumonia and hospital stays every spring throughout my childhood.
My life was free of any major health changes until my stroke at 24 and feeding tube placement at 40. It was at 40 that the thoughts of mortality started to creep back into my head. I am 65 now. Live in with fear of sudden illness is always with me. That is why I try to take preventive measures and have regular check ups.
A new fear entered the of all disabled in 2019. the threat of Covid-19 was realized when the hospitals across the country begin to fill with the sick. ventilators became scarce and choices were made as to who got the life saving treatment. of of ten they choše those people who’s life was deemed to very some value to society. There are Documented cases of disabled not being given treatment. this continues to be a real threat but the vaccine has lessened the worst of the virus.
I think I am blessed to have been able to live this long. I am the elderly disabled lady who I looked for in my youth. I see my future in my community and advocacy work. Maybe some young person will see me and be encouraged that life can last longer than they think
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